Scotty from (sports) marketing

Guess who’s back? Back again.

Scotty’s back. Tell your friends…

In the third instalment, Scotty from (sports) marketing has released another poem to explain to the ‘loud’ Australians how good sports grants are.

Well hi there my friend,

My cobber, my pal,

I’m back to remind you

It’s all going well

The fires have stopped

Well most of them anyway

And we’ve said that we will

Give the volunteers pay

But only if they worked

Between 8 and 6

And only if they wear

A gold crucifix

And only if they didn’t

Then go on to work

And get paid for that

Woah! I’m not a jerk

I’m generous, I’m kind

I’m unreasonably fair

No one could say

I’m not doing my share

Now back to the weather

How good is that rain?

It’s just what we prayed for

To ease all our pain

And now that it seems

It’s all under control

You wanna rip in

About a soccer goal?

Do me a favour

And give me break

Bridget’s alright

She aint no snake

And nor for that matter

Are me or old Josh

We gave money where needed

That’s not hogwash

Yes it may seem that

We favoured some places

Where the LNP struggled

But by God’s good graces

You’ll see that’s not true

I firmly deny it

This did not help us

Win the election (or buy it)

Sure there’s some suspect

Aspects about things

Like Lilli Pilli v Coledale

They both fought like kings

But Coledale, well

They didn’t have the right stuff

In the end they weren’t quite

Marginal enough

So Lilli Pilli

Got their fair share of the cake

Just ’cause it’s my electorate

Doesn’t mean it’s a mistake

Coledale and the others

They’ll all be fine

A nice little chook raffle

Will raise a few dimes

People are generous

Haven’t you seen

How much was raised

For the after fire clean?

It seems like Australians

Are desperate to part

With their hard earned cash

In the aftermath

So why should the Government

Spend taxpayer money

On fires or sports club

In any way impartially?

Well, quite right, we shouldn’t

You’re much better off

With us in control

Trickling down from the top.

The end. It seems I had a lot of pent-up Scotty from Marketing issues that needed an outlet. I hope you all have a wonderful day that includes plenty of tea and plenty of writing. xx

Picture courtesy of AAP: Mick Tsikas

Scotty From Marketing Claps Back

‘Well hi there fine citizen

Australian, my neighbour

I can tell from your poem

That you surely vote Labor

Or worse, could it be

That you vote for the greens?

Haven’t you read?

They’re not all that they seem

The Greens and the hippies

They’re the ones you should blame

Now that our fine land

Has gone up in flames

They hate it whenever

We try to do good

They won’t let us backburn!

But we knew we should

We know ALL of the things

That we needed to do

But the Greens wouldn’t let us

They’re bad through and through

And anyway, really

Is fire SO bad?

You’re acting like

This is first one we’ve had.

But this is Australia

And this is the season

When fires will start

Not for rhyme nor for reason

If you’re still concerned

Let Rupert assure youse

The Hanging Rock races

Is really page one news

So you see noisy citizen

It’s high time you relax

Untwist your knickers

And have a chillax

The cricket’s on soon

We can cheer on our boys

Now there’s a fine place

For your unceasing noise

Then shush up your mouth

And do like the others

The quiet Australians

Your sisters and brothers.’