Tag: Writing

How to write when you don’t want to.

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ 2 Comments

Today has been the trickiest day for me in my new ‘writing everyday’ regime. I slept well but woke later than usual. Organised myself for dance class and took off. I sweated like a sweaty person through 3 classes (they’re only 30 minutes each so it’s not as hardcore as it sounds) and returned home.

As I walked through the front door the state of disorder really struck me and I was unable, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, to walk past it and go write. It had gotten to the point where there was so much clutter around I actually felt a bit claustrophobic. So I tidied and cleaned and rearranged until I felt calm. I made myself a cup of tea and thought:

I really cannot be arsed writing today.

Surely one day off will not a habit break?

As I sipped and ruminated on the idea of skipping writing my blog post today a different feeling overtook me. One that I’m not very used to. It was a feeling of motivation and it was coming from my own self! My brain was telling me to go sit down, make the time, follow through with my plans. So here I am.

What I’m discovering is – one day off may not a habit break, but more days on will a habit make. My bum is in the chair and I am writing. Whether it’s any good or not is irrelevant, the important thing is that I am here. Where as in the past I would’ve given in to that first feeling of can’t be arsed and thrown myself on the couch to binge watch some BBC comedy, not so today. And I’m not naive enough to presume there won’t ever be a day where I don’t come and sit here and write but the reason will be a damn sight better than ‘I can’t be arsed’.

Writing is hard and some days are harder than others, so here’s a little motivational poem to encourage you to persist even when you don’t wanna:

Don’t be so lazy, you right bloody tool

Go do some work or you’ll feel like a fool

The TV’s not moving, there’ll be time for that

But not ’til you’ve written some words you wee brat

Don’t say ‘tomorrow’, today is the day

Right now is the time, so get on your way

Take out your notebook, your favourite gel pen

And write ’til your finished, and then write again

All of the things you’ve been thinking about

Write from your head and write from your heart

Never quit writing, today is the day

The world’s waiting to read what you have to say.

Voila! Encouraging no? Pour yourself a cup of tea, pop your excuses in the bin and write. You’ll feel better for it xx

Non, je ne regrette rien

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ Leave a comment

Edith Piaf’s song has always been a favourite of mine. I loved the way it sounded and the crescendo always made me feel the importance of her words despite the fact that I didn’t understand any beyond the title. When I started learning French as an adult one of the first things I did was print off the lyrics and try to translate them. My rudimentary effort went something like this:

No, absolutely nothing

No, I will regret nothing

Neither the good

Nor the bad

They are equal to me

Edith Piaf poorly translated by me.
Listen to the music and, whether you understand the words or not, how does it make you feel?

One thing is patently clear from this exercise – French is a very beautiful language. The reason I bring this up though is to turn our minds towards our own lives and think about how we too, can sweep away any regrets we may have and start anew from today.

In the Kristina Karlsson book I mentioned a few posts back, she shares the writing of Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who wrote a book about working with people nearing the end of their lives. In it she lists the top 5 regrets people had before their death. They included the following:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked as hard, or as much
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings more
  4. I wish I’d been better at staying in touch with my friends
  5. I wish that I’d let myself be happier

When I read through this list the first two stuck out to me like sore thumbs. I’ve often changed course in my life, deviating from what I truly wanted, because of other people’s judgements (real or imaginary). Or I’ve just been too scared to do what I really want because of my crippling fear of failure and humiliation.

Probably everybody can relate to the second one. Who hasn’t felt like they’re working too hard and expending too much energy at the expense of mental health, family time or just plain balance?

For me, writing fits just plum into this first category. I haven’t had the courage to do it because I’ve felt like a fraud, like everyone’s better at it anyway so why bother? Or like people will read my work and laugh – not because it’s funny but because it’s woeful. This fear has long been a regret of mine.

However, I’ve still got some amount of time left on this blue marble and I refuse to end up in palliative care talking about how I regret not having had the courage to write.

As Edith Piaf says:

Car ma vies, Car mes joies

Aujourd’hui

Ça commence avec moi!

Edith Piaf

My life, my joy

Today

It begins with me.

**Footnote – I changed the last word from toi (you) to moi (me) to drive home the point that having the courage to write is down to our own selves, not anybody else.

Have a little think about that list of regrets from Bronnie Ware’s book. What stands out to you? Is not writing or not creating on you list of regrets? Write down your thoughts.

Let’s have a cup of tea, sweep our regrets away and start anew. À demain xx

Credit – Artwork by Inaxor on Deviant Art

Writing Rituals

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ 5 Comments

Once upon a time I thought that all the planets had to be aligned, every room in my house had to be immaculate, a Blue Morpho butterfly had to flap it’s wings three times on a toadstool in the Amazon, and 17 male virgins had to be sacrificed in order for the conditions to be ‘just right’ for me to write.

I’ve heard lots of people talk about how their writing will really come along once their study is properly renovated, or the studio out the back built, or the local cafe gets wifi. What I’ve discovered though is all of these restrictions we impose upon ourselves are just distractions stopping us from actually getting the writing done.

Writing can be exhilarating when you’re in the zone and words just seem to be falling perfectly into place, or at least the ideas are falling out of your head and on to the page. But a great deal of the time writing is hard and yuck and exhausting and scary. So it really isn’t any wonder that we create these barriers to stop us from just putting our bum on the seat and working.

One of the many pieces of advice I’ve held on to from Catherine Deveny’s Gunnas Writing Retreat is this:

Write in the cracks

Catherine Deveny

Write in those tiny moments when you actually have a chance. You don’t need a 4 hour block in a writing studio in order to be productive. You can get some important work done in 5 minutes sitting in the car in the driveway. And I’ve done that. A friend of mine said only yesterday that some of her best writing ideas come to her in the car. So what happens to those brilliant ideas if she doesn’t put pen to paper the instant she’s able to? Well, by the time a 4 hour uninterrupted block rolls around for her it’ll probably be about 2055 when she’s retiring (providing, of course, we’re still here).

I’ve been reading an excellent book lately called ‘Indistractable’ by Nir Eyal and it’s been invaluable in helping me prioritise the things I truly care about. I’ve never been much into time-blocking ’cause I’m a laid-back, fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. But actually that laid-back attitude really hasn’t served my writing life at all. All it’s done is present me with myriad reasons to procrastinate; TV, socialising, cleaning. All things that could’ve waited.

Now though, I look at external and internal factors that distract me and I time-block my day to either include them at an appropriate time, or exclude them altogether. And so far, it’s working. For the first time ever I am writing every single day.

I walk up the stairs to my study. I walk past the dishwasher that needs emptying, I step over (God willing) the LEGO trail leading to the door, I light a candle on my desk and press play on my ‘songs to write to’ playlist and I just write. My desk is covered in books and journals and inspiring quotes and that’s just how I like it. I believe it was Einstein who said:

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Albert Einstein

Indeed. So have a look at the restrictions you place around your own writing time. Perhaps take an audit of your week and see where you’re spending most of your time when it may be possible to write. Are things that could wait distracting you from the task at hand? If you get a chance flick through ‘Indistractable’. It will not only help you prioritise more time for writing but will also support you to be more efficient at work and more present in your daily life.

Have a wonderful day one and all. Enjoy a lovely cup of tea and some time to write xx

The man who hated my teeth

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ 2 Comments

Yesterday I posted my thoughts about noticing the world and how the simple act of being alert to anything that moves you, in any way, is worth recording in your writer’s notebook. You never know what the germ of an idea may become.

At a dinner party recently, where everyone coincidentally had lovely teeth, I was moved to recall a time, many years ago, where a friend of a friend, at best an acquaintance to me, told me I should keep my mouth shut so people didn’t have to look at my teeth. Now, obviously, this guy was an absolute troll, in the original sense of the word. A nasty, little creature with no care for how his words might affect me. He may’ve even taken delight in criticising me. Who knows?

But now, about 15 years later, that moment has returned to the forefront of my mind and I’ve felt compelled to write about it. The poem did not go in the direction I imagined it would, in fact, nasty-teeth man is just a footnote in the poem that turned out to be about someone else altogether. That’s how writing goes! This may not be the last time I feel compelled to write about teeth-man, and this is only the first draft of this poem. So there is plenty of work to do and countless other writing journeys I could take with this one idea.

But for now, here’s the first draft of ‘The Man Who Hated My Teeth’.

Drifting along the Adriatic

Young, excited, attracted

Like a movie we lay on the deck

And gazed at the stars

We talked about everything

You said you wanted a big family

That didn’t scare me

I imagined it. Us.

Entwined and in love

On we sailed

Some days you spent with me

Some nights I spent with you

We parted in Split.

Appropriately

I returned home

Waiting daily for the beep of my phone

That came from time to time

You returned home

Our reunion, for me, was everything

Your face, your smile

Your eyes that seemed to drink me up

I was so ready for us

You put your arms around me

Pulled me to you

I lifted my face

And you kissed my cheek

Croatia had been great

Europe enthralling

But now you were home

It was time

To give

Your relationship

Another chance

Deep breath. I smiled

And swallowed

And wished you every good thing

So friends we were

And so it was

In time you left your girlfriend

She wasn’t right after all

But I was still there

Still feeling

Tuesdays became ours

Date nights

Movie nights

Lines blurred again

But never enough for you

Or me

I knew some of your friends

You knew some of mine

At a dive bar in St. Kilda

A friend of yours, unknown to me

Leaned in and said

You should keep your mouth closed

Your teeth are awful

I looked at you

Into those eyes

Could you see my humiliation?

I didn’t smile again that night

Even now I catch myself

Blissfully enjoying a moment

With my hand covering my mouth

Fifteen

Years

Later

I have kids

You do too

Our friendship exists online now

My teeth as they always were

I wish you every good thing

Well now that’s left me feeling a bit sentimental. I think I need a cup of tea. Until tomorrow friends xx

Noticing the world

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ Leave a comment

Two statements I’ve heard a lot in my time as a teacher is ‘I don’t know what to write about’ and ‘that student is a reluctant writer’. Both of these comments stem from the same issue – noticing the world, and deciding what interests us enough to explore it more deeply.

If someone sat in front of you and said ‘write a story about anything you want’, you may get straight down to it, or, like a lot of people you might sit there wondering where on earth to start. Equally if someone sat in front of you and said ‘write about your weekend’ you may have a great story to tell, or you may sit there thinking, ‘I don’t want to write about my weekend’.

‘Reluctant writers’ aren’t really reluctant. They’re just not yet practiced in knowing what interests them, or they’re not interested in being told what to write about. I understand that.

Here’s where the writer’s notebook comes in. Having a space where you keep all those beautiful little details you see when you’re out and about, or snippets of conversations you overhear, or information about an incredible gallery you visited, can truly help you to write about what you’re interested in. And if students have their own writer’s notebook to keep track of all their ideas – big and small, then they should always be able to find something to write about as well. Writing at school becomes less prescriptive and more autonomous and engaging. But what is it that we should be noticing?

Take this example; the other night I was out for dinner with four people. All clever and entertaining in their own way. At one particular moment during the evening I looked around the table and noticed that every single person there, bar me, had perfect teeth. Straight and white, like a Colgate commercial. As the thought passed through my brain it awoke a memory from many years ago. A friend of a friend told me that I shouldn’t open my mouth because my teeth would offend people. At the dinner table I instantly put my hand to my mouth to cover my giant laugh and heinous teeth.

Noticing this seemingly small detail at dinner set off a chain reaction in my mind that required me to write it down. Perhaps I’ll never use this tidbit in any writing I do in the future. But perhaps I will. Maybe I’ll create a character who is embarrassed of their teeth. Or maybe a pasty, little, nasty character who spends their time slinging insults at others. Or maybe it was just a reminder for me to go get that voodoo doll of my friend’s friend and twist one of those pins in a little harder?

Who knows? But what I do know is recording any and all of these tiny moments could generate any number of writing opportunities for you and students. The answer to the question then: what should we be noticing? is EVERYTHING.

Whatever catches your attention, takes your fancy, floats your boat. Anything that sets off a spark in you, no matter how small. Anything that makes you FEEL something. Write it down.

I’m going to put the kettle on and then I think I’ll write a poem titled The Man Who Hated My Teeth. Ha! Stay tuned xx

Dreaming of a writerly life

~ kristinekennedy001krissykoolk ~ 2 Comments

Last year, work was challenging. I taught a year 4 class in a school I’d worked at for several years and, for all intents and purposes, it was a year like any other. Busy, rewarding, difficult…highs, lows, etc. The difference last year was a consistent pull inside my mind and my heart, that I wasn’t giving my creative self enough of an outlet. I felt hamstrung by the constraints of the education field and the lack of autonomy teachers experience. On top of that I felt a growing need to see my own children more often, rather than always sending them to before and after school care so I could wade through the never-ending sea of work.

When I made the decision to have a year off, a sense of relief flooded through me. Like an inexplicable weight had been removed from my shoulders. The consistent churning disappeared from my stomach, and an excitement for the possibilities and opportunities I could follow became my default feeling.

As I said goodbye to my 2019 class, the parents of one of my students gave me a gift that has propelled me and my mindset into the new year with gusto. It was a gift set from Kikki. K; the beautiful, Swedish design and stationery business. It included a book called ‘Your Dream Life Starts Here,’ and a ‘Dream Life Journal’, which is a space to record your thoughts, feelings and dreams as you read through the book.

I have begun working my way through the book and journal and I have found it utterly illuminating. I can’t say I’ve ever sat down and truly thought about my dreams and ambitions in such a meaningful way, I’ve certainly never written them down.

Kristina Karlsson is the author and Kikki.K founder, and she has collaborated with a host of incredible people to produce this book. The story of Dr Tererai Trent and her dream of escaping a brutal life in Zimbabwe is a standout and will surely leave you inspired to acknowledge and follow your own dreams too. One of the questions posed in the book is –

What would you do if you knew you could never fail?

Kristina Karlsson

I love this question because, for me, the limitations I’ve put on myself throughout my whole life have been crippling. I’ve stopped doing things I loved because I worried what people thought. Or I’ve not started things at all because of my fear of other people’s opinions. What a waste! Well, no longer. Now is the time to cast aside the irrelevant (and often non-existent) judgements of others and follow your dreams.

Here is my list of things I would do if I knew I couldn’t fail:

Finish writing my comedy show and pitch it

Be in the comedy show

Collaborate with other creative people

Do stand up

Buy a book store

Write everything I want to

Dance

Sing in a band

Learn French

Create a podcast

Draw / paint

Help others write more (especially teachers and kids)

This is not an exhaustive list but when I look at it I see some pretty clear themes for my dream life. It involves a lot of writing, a lot of humour, creativity, learning and growth. I also see that I’m on the right path. I’ve chosen to follow these dreams more purposefully. And I feel bloody amazing about it.

So, how about you? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Dream without limitations and write them down!

Obviously first thing’s first – have a cup of tea xx